Today is World Women’s Day. A day which suddenly reminded me of my childhood. Why? Because 8 March is about equality between women and men. An equality that in many places in the world remains a farfetched dream but that was an integral part of my upbringing. 

Basically we’re talking about equal opportunities. Opportunities my parents provided us with, that is to say me, my three sisters and my four brothers. We were all treated as equals, none was preferred. None was privileged. My parents equally fed our ambitions, stimulating us to develop our talents and capacities. They taught us respect for the individual; we learned to overcome prejudice and undue judgments. They took us by the hand and supplied us with the tools that brought us to where we are  now. If my father would still be alive, he would be immensely proud of us, his children. We are all different, but we all share ambition and a strong sense of independence. We all earn our own income and take responsibility. We also share a deep sense of belonging together, we stick together and take care of each and our respective families.

Equality even starts before birth; in the equal joy of expecting a girl or a boy. With just one wish: that the child may be healthy! The next step is birth itself; sincere equal treatment starts there.

If the child is a girl it is crucial for her developing a perception of equality that no negative comments are made about being one. She must be encouraged to develop herself freely and to make her own choices. Let her do sports, play rough games if she wishes and come home with contusions on her knees because she climbed trees. She must be free to develop ambitions and discover her specific talents. In short, she has to gain enough self-confidence and competences to effectively escape the straightjacket of what are traditionally being considered women’s roles.

If the child is a boy he should in no way be punished or degraded when he shows emotions or weakness; he should be equally taught to do household chores. If he likes ballet and dance, so be it; if he prefers soccer, fine. One is as good for his development as the other. He must be taught equal respect for the opinion of girls and boys, women and men. Also he must be capacitated to make choices fitting his individual talents and preferences instead of having to fit the straightjacket of what is locally considered being a ‘real man’.  

Ideas of what ‘real women’ and ‘real men’ should be are based on constructed realities. These constructed divisions of roles and tasks between men and women have been developed over time, mostly by men, and they are different in different societies, making perfectly clear that there are no universal truths in this. One thing they have in common though: as a rule these divisions in tasks and roles favor males and push women in a second class position in society. They can and should be disputed as they create a fundamental inequality in access to education, to jobs, to influence and power. Moreover, history has shown that culturally determined convictions related to the male-female roles are flexible and dynamic and subject to change. The Netherlands of 2010 cannot be compared to the Netherlands of 1960. Macedonia in 2010 is far from Macedonia in the fifties. 

In particular in recent decades worldwide binding agreements have been set to put an end to this unjustified inequality. I would like to add my voice to this call also in the Macedonian context. Let’s put an end to fixed ideas on how or what girls and boys should be. I would make a strong plea in favor of letting them develop according to their own wishes and based on their individual talents. Like my parents did with us, with me. For this, they deserved my life-long gratitude. Their equal treatment of daughters and sons forms the basis of my strength, of the positive energy I feel, the self-confidence I possess and my having become the Dutch Ambassador in Macedonia.

8 March is a shake-up day for us to remember. Let’s not make our girls pink and our boys blue. Let’s present them with the rainbow of colors life has to offer!

Download the column (jpg file format) here.
 http://www.koha.com.mk/
 www.internationalwomensday.com.htm